A first attempt at flash fiction

I’ve just joined Friday Fictioneers on Facebook hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. You  can read other stories or join to write your own at https://rochellewisoff.com/. This was my first attempt at Flash Fiction.  A complete story in 100 words in response to a photo prompt. Here it is.

Photo prompt © Sarah Potter

He sat on the bench, feet off the floor and underneath him. There was one other person: a girl. She walked down the platform towards him. Before he looked down, he thought how pretty. She had big, duck feet and battered white shoes; coming closer, she smelt of fresh things. The rails started to ring and she stopped in front of him. Doors opened and slammed and then she was gone with the train. Quiet. Except: her battered shoes, posed, inches from the platform’s edge like a dark joke and his bare feet filthy. He went to get them, smiling.

14 thoughts on “A first attempt at flash fiction

    1. Thank you. It wasn’t easy. Because of the word count, I found punctuation became really important e.g. as a way of marking time. Really interesting experience!

  1. Dear Rachel,

    A worthy story and sweet first attempt. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. I look forward to more from you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS This group and exercise in brevity are highly addictive. 😉

  2. Well done. The only thing which threw me off was the description ‘big duck feet.’ It took me out of the story for a few moments, until I read the end and realized she wasn’t some duck-footed alien. At least, I don’t think she was:)

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